Back again

I was feeling really bad for not blogging for a long (long, long) time, but now that I think about it, I'm not doing too bad. For comparison, look at all the creative minds in the entertainment industry. And what have they done lately? Here are the top grossing movies for 2009 (numbers may be slightly out of date*)

1 Transformers 2

2 Half-Blood Prince

3 Up

4 The Hangover

5 Star Trek

6 Monsters vs. Aliens

7 Ice Age 3

8 Wolverine

9 Night at the Museum 2

10 The Proposal

Three direct sequels (one based on an 80s cartoon, one based on a children's book), one continuation of a series based on a book, and two others from well established franchises (Star Trek and X-men).

*Avatar ended up near the top as expected, New Moon slipped in, along with The Blindside knocking the bottom three above a few spots further down the list. New Moon is the only one of those that represents some creative writing -- but not in Hollywood, of course. The Blindside was based on a true story. And Avatar, while it had spectacular effects, seems like a story that has been done before.

Skipping through more of the list, you can see plenty more derivative content in sequels, prequels, adaptations of books (usually ok, but starting with a dozen or so page children's book may not be the best idea -- see Polar Express -- although some are well done), and re-makes of older films/franchises. In the works: Three men and a bride, Roger Rabbit 2, The Jetsons movie, Thor (the comic), Alien prequel, Dune ( a book already made into a movie twice, once for theatrical release, once for TV), Friends, Red Dawn, a sequel to The Wizard of Oz, Interview with a Vampire/The Vampire Lestat, A Nightmare on Elm Street, My Fair Lady, The Crow, The Greatest American Hero, another spider-man, and believe it or not, another Mad Max film. A couple of my favorites, though: I read, from a couple of sources, that there was a bidding war for the rights to the video game Asteroids -- the one where you were a triangle shooting at irregular polygons. Also, apparently, a studio is in talks to acquire the rights to the viewmaster "to do some Transformers-style magic on it." Yeah. Viewmaster, the slide show toy.

TV is not much better. You'd think since shows on TV can just go on and on, you can't really make sequels. But those clever TV execs figured out a way. I think it went something like this:

NBC exec: "Law and Order is doing great in the ratings. I wish I had three of them."

Yes man: "Yes sir. We'll get right on that. What would you like to call them?"

NBC exec: "We can't just make the same show over again!"

Yes man: "Yes. But what if we change something that's not really central to the plot, but will differentiate the new show."

NBC exec: "Like what?"

Yes man: "Maybe some other type of major crime besides homocide?"

And after one show did it, others were sure to follow:

CBS exec: "CSI is doing great. Let's crank out some new versions, Law-and-Order style."

Yes man: "Ok, sir. But they already investigate all kinds of crimes on CSI."

CBS exec: "Right. But every big city has a crime lab. Let's do one in New York. People love New York. Miami, too. That's kind of exotic like Vegas."

NBC exec: "We need to get in on this CSI bandwagon. How can we cash in without directly copying CBS?"

yes man: "Do military police have crime labs?"

Fox exec: "CSI and NCIS are killing us, we need a show like those."

yes man: "What about a CSI cartoon?"

Fox exec: "Sunday night's covered. I'm thinking mid-week."

yes man: "A CSI reality show?"

Fox exec: "We're pretty solid on the music and dance reality shows. Does the FBI use crime labs?"

yes man: "I think I read that they use academics as consultants."

Fox exec: "Yeah, like that lame math show CBS launched earlier this year. Lets go with that."

So now you have 3 CSIs, 2 NCISs, and Bones. And with the success of House and Grey's Anatomy, (and now that ER is finally over -- I think. Seems like I was saying "That show's still on?!" for at least 5 years before they announced the series finale, which must have been at least a year before the finale aired) we're seeing a new spate of medical dramas, too.

Unfortunately, the occasional show that is really original and creative gets killed by networks that want to turn it into a cash cow. Lost is a good example. It started out really interesting, and seemed like there was a larger story arc that we would gradually learn over time. Then it became a big hit and it seemed as though the story went from progressing and moving toward revealing the mysteries to coming up with things to keep the show going -- which likely wrecked the originally planned neat, everything-coming-together-at-the-end (I assume -- maybe that's wishful thinking on my part) story. Oh well, I guess we'll see if they manage to salvage a reasonable ending. I guess I'll write about that when they eventually wrap the series.