Reflections on fatherhood

I have a couple of friends who are new fathers. One of those is a guy I work with who just had a daughter a couple weeks ago. A while back, just before the due date, a couple of other guys and I were teasing him a little about getting all the sleep he can ahead of time and some of the other challenges that come with having kids. Afterward, it occurred to me that I sort of missed out on that with my first daughter. Most people reading this know that she was born very (four months) premature. As a result, she was in the hospital the first 100 days after she was born.

So my experience as a first time dad was quite a bit different than most. For the first week and a half or so I was pretty wound-up and afraid my child might die at any minute (this may not be that different from a lot of new fathers, except that I had a good bit more reason for it). At first, I spent a lot of time in the hospital between my wife (who was recovering from the emergency c-section) and the baby. But then within a few days, Holly came home and we started getting into a routine. We spent a lot of time at the hospital, but there was very little we could do with or for our daughter. And any time she needed anything, there were skilled, highly trained nurses there to take care of her.

In a way, it feels a little like I cheated, not having to do much the first couple of months. For the most part, if my sleep was interrupted or curtailed, it was my choice. By the time she came home she was on a very regular feeding schedule. On the other hand, when she came home she was a lot closer to a newborn than a three+ month old. At that point, that almost-comfortable routine was yanked out from under us and suddenly we were completely responsible for an infant requiring a bit more care than most. I guess that my experience, although it was pretty different than most in some respects, it was a lot alike as well.